When I tell you I have a love hate relationship with social media, believe me. I love it for so many reasons as I’ve learned a lot about the things I’m truly passionate about like skincare, Peri menopause, fitness and health, hair information that I know for sure I’d never know- without social media existing. But when it comes to negative things smh I could have done without all of it. One of the topics that I’ve noticed in all of 2023 on Tik Tok was how being a low maintenance friend was the friend you should aspire to be or have; the friend that doesn’t require much. A low maintenance friend is the friend that you can go months without talking to and then when the link up does happen -it’s like you never stopped talking. She’s the friend that will call you on Birthdays-maybe, but even if he or she doesn’t thats still fine because we all have busy lives, and our friends should understand that. If your friend ever decides to mention that they miss you, and want to talk more or hang out more, then you would be upset because that friend should understand you are building your life and you have responsibilities and that your distance have nothing to do with them- they have to accept you when they get you or then the friendship will end.
I recently did a post about friendship and how to make them work but what I didn’t realize is this very important part, most friendships don’t work because folks don’t know how to be friends, that is the reality of it all. Everyone is afraid to demand what they want in a friendship/relationship and so we stay in the friendship until it just doesn’t work anymore, and next thing you know all you’re doing is sending each other memes instead of talking. Unfortunately this happens because we all listened to social media and have now accepted the term “Low Maintenance friend”
I’m ashamed to say it but I’ve now become that friend, absolutely not by choice- but because I don’t want to be a bother to others. Which basically means that they weren’t my people to begin with, because I should have never feel afraid to ask for more time. Think about it, when you’re in a relationship you expect to go on dates, spend quality time together and communicate often, so everyone is on the same page. It’s even encouraged that you should continue to date, even in your marriage. Now a friendship is basically a relationship and for any relationship to thrive you have to water it. So you should go on dates with your friends, communicate often, and make time for each other, even when it’s inconvenient.
I can’t wait to have a true best friend; two would be great but I would take one in a heart beat. I know that I’m the friend that wants to talk at least two three times a week or more if possible. Think about it; if that’s your person they will want to check in with you too. Now this doesn’t have to be phone convos all the time, it can be text, email whatever but we must touch base. I should know your kids birthdays and call you and give them gifts and vice versa; I should know if you have a doctor’s appointment coming up. I’ve met alot of great women in the past 6 years but the relationship fizzled out because I’ve realized that they are low maintenance. When we would talk and I said catch up with you next week that would turn into months or I’d text and wont get a reply until a week later. I remember I would feel so hurt because I really liked them and thought we vibed but when I didn’t hear from them for months at a time; I then adapted the same behavior; it’s as if they taught me how to be that way. I just told myself well at least when we did talk it wasn’t weird and I rather have them sometimes than never, as we all need people.
Now when I see a text come in, even when I can answer it right away I don’t …knowing that when I do I may not get a response back till the next day, next week or a month and honestly who wants that. This year I refuse to be in any relationship where I’m not happy. I want to be weird and call you and leave voice notes and have lunch dates and dinner dates and just talk. I want to meet someone so important to me that I am willing to sacrifice to meet with you or just to chat for 10 mins. I want to meet someone that even when you need me in the most inconvenient time I may complain….like girl lol …but I’ma come. I don’t want any friendships that just want to meet up to go to an event and then never talk to each other again until the next event. I don’t want any friendships where we just discuss trauma and that’s the only thing we make time for and then disappear out each others lives. I don’t want any friendships where I’m afraid to say I miss you- let’s hang out. I want a friendship where I can take your kids for the weekend while you spend quality time alone or with your person. I want a friendship thats going to feed my soul. I want a friend I can count on that I can depend on and Vice Versa. I want a friend I can call in the middle of the night and say I feel fattttt. And she tells me I feel fat too- although we both know we aren’t fat and workout everyday hahahhaha. I want a friend that I can tell her something last week and then tell her again at another time and each time she’s interested; as if it’s the first time. I want a friend where we can be together in silence and it’s completely okay. I want a friend that I can laugh until my belly hurts at something completely silly and she does the same.
At this point I’m sure you get what I want out of a friendship. And honestly we all deserve that, it’s an important part in living, friendships are important for our livelihood. I’m so fortunate that I get that with my husband; but Id love to experience a close female relationship at least once in my life time. So lets’ put in the effort and build those strong connections in 2024- because listen low maintenance friends are just acquaintances.
Okayyyy, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest lol. Let’s talk about this outfit. I love color in the Winter, we all know that, I usually purchase at least one bright colored coat every other year. Lat year I purchased an emerald green coat, and this year I’m thinking about a red one. However you can still look suitable for Winter; by pairing your bright colors with darker colors, like I did here. I love yellow/ mustard which pairs so good with red -which is why I opted for red lips instead of neutral. But I wanted to wear my houndstooth skirt that I’ve had forever; as I knew it would pair nicely with any color. I’ll link a few bright coats you can rock this Winter as well below.
Thanks For reading